Dating Do's and Don'ts
Dating can be a daunting proposition for many single adults, and in today’s progressive, cyber-dating world it is important to set some rules, but still follow common courtesies…oh, and be sure to have a good time!
- Take precautions and keep yourself safe. It’s important that you and your date feel safe the first time you go out. This is especially true if you have met through a website. Transport yourself and meet the person in a public place. Be sure to tell a friend about your plans and keep your cell phone with you. If you ever feel threatened or uncomfortable by your date, don’t hesitate to remove yourself from the situation.
- Be attentive. Everyone loves talking about themselves, so ask questions. Show you are listening and interested by maintaining good eye contact and nodding. Answering phone calls or text messages is not only rude, but sends a message to your date that your mind is elsewhere.
- Be courteous. For you guys out there, remember that small things like opening doors or walking your date to her car are still important. Ladies, be sure to allow your date to open doors for you, help you on/off with your coat, or show any number of kind gestures. Also, it is always courteous to offer to split the bill and be gracious if he declines.
- Remember to have fun! It’s common to let nerves get the best of you, but remember to enjoy your night out. A comfortable smile is very attractive and laughing will put both of you at ease.
- Follow up. If you want to see the person again, be sure to let him/her know that you had a good time and make plans for a second date. If you didn’t really think the two of you would make a good match, trust your gut, but make sure to thank him/her for the date.
- Don’t be late! Make sure you leave yourself plenty of time to get ready so you will be on-time. Take into account the amount of time it will take to get to your destination and plan accordingly (driving, traffic, parking, etc.) Think about how anxious you might feel if you thought you were getting stood up. If you are running late or stuck in traffic, call your date and let him/her know when you will arrive.
- Don’t discuss emotional or controversial topics. This would include politics, religion, money and especially past relationships. These subjects will come up eventually, but it is best to put it them off until at least date four or five. Instead, talk about lighter subjects such as your favorite sports, favorite movies, books, hobbies, what you do for work, or where you’ve recently traveled.
- Don’t come on too strong. There is no greater turn-off than a guy or girl acting needy or desperate. Show your date that you are confident and independent. Refrain from behavior such as acting jealous if your date talks about friends of the opposite sex. Don’t try to set ground rules for how often he/she needs to call you, either.
- Don’t hide who you really are. Being your most impressive self is important, but don’t ever pretend to be someone you are not. Remember that the point of dating is to determine compatibility. If your date doesn’t like you for you, don’t take it personally…he/she is just not the right match. Move on.
- Don’t get too physical, too soon. Moral standards aside, it is never a good idea to become intimate with someone before learning who they are as a person. Give your dating relationship a fighting chance and hold off for a while. If you are feeling good chemistry, end with a kiss and let your date know that you can’t wait to see him/her again.